The brain is an amazing source of consternation because somehow, it has this twisted way of not shutting down at night and generating thought after thought till all hours of the morning which in essence then keeps me up and makes me a first-class grouch thereafter.
The past week, rampant thoughts of what is going on around me with regard to illegal immigrants and the benefits which are afforded them - and not me - have pretty much taken over my thought process.
Case in point: As a single mother, I rely solely on my part time income and my child support. My rent is 30 percent of my income which suffice to say is nearly my entire child support. If I work more, my rent goes up. So I am effectively in a corner with my back up against a really hard brick wall and the edges of the concrete of the bricks are making permanent marks in my back because I have been in this position forever. I can't go out and get a full time job because my rent will skyrocket and I'll be throwing away all my money for what - to live in the single serving cereal box I live in? That's what sucks because the more you make, the higher your rent goes and you can't save any money for a down payment for a house because you're giving it all to the slumlords who run the kind of place in which I reside.
So I put my name on a waiting list for a "voucher" to help with my son's after school program which is considered "child care." I have this after school care because it has vacation programs for which my son qualifies because he is in the regular after-school program and I have to work so my son has a place to go during school vacations. Ditto for the majority of the holidays that fall during the regular school year. Some of these holidays I receive an off day from work so I elect to keep my son with me to save myself some money.
I do this single parent thing all by myself. My closest relative is my Mom and she lives in another state. She is almost 79 years old, doesn't drive more than a mile to the grocery store and back and is living out the rest of her life comfortably and in peace. She is not a child care option. And there are very, very few people I would trust with the care of my son. So for the most part, I am alone.
I have been on this "waiting list" for a child care voucher going on 3 years. I am not on welfare. I do receive food stamps out of necessity - a whopping $16 a month because someone decided that my $15,000 per year bottom of the ocean below the poverty line income was more than enough money for me to buy groceries for me and my son who brings his lunch to school 3 out of the 5 school days and for whom I pack a lunch every day Monday through Friday for 10 weeks of summer vacations. Short of starving myself or my son, I had to laugh at the $16 allotment of food stamps.
But what I wasn't laughing when reality set in and I pictured this scenario: Illegal immigrants apply for food stamps. A social security number is required or at least on the application I - born, raised U.S. Citizen - fills out. Does anyone check the validity of the social security numbers presented? Or do these illegals - which number by the thousands here in Massachusetts - have a "different" form given to them to fill out? They claim they aren't working. I'm sorry but my own ex-husband's wife (who is Brazilian) has a cleaning job that she earns cash from and doesn't report. I know how this goes. Illegals work "under the table" for cash, don't report their income (how can they - they're illegal and don't have social security numbers) but they get food stamps (more than $16 a month I am sure), get better health care than I do (because their income is allegedly lower than mine - yah right) AND (drum roll please) they go on welfare which automatically qualifies them for CHILD CARE VOUCHERS WOOHOO!
And here I am, born, bred U.S. Citizen who reports her income, reports her child support and I am getting screwed 27 different ways to Texas by the illegals. But is it them or the government agencies who are short-staffed, short-changed or just plain short of qualified people who obviously don't have enough have enough brains in their head to realize how unfair our laws truly are???!!!
We CATER to illegals and leave our own people - like myself who are in dire need of services - or more than what is allotted to me - in the dust of the illegals.
I am sorry but illegal immigrants do not deserve to get the benefits that I and other U.S. Citizens rightfully deserve.
Now don't get me wrong because I live in subsidized housing and I am surrounded by people who are committing varying degrees of housing fraud, tax evasion, etc. and who are U.S. Citizens. But what good is it going to do me to tattle on them? How would it benefit me? It doesn't and it never will. So I suffer in silence, I pay my rent, I stay out of trouble and pray for a miracle. I hope for what comes around goes around but it seems that everyone just keeps getting away with all kinds of shit while I struggle with a rope tightening around my neck pretty much every day. These housing fraud-ers and tax evaders and lease violators aren't hurting me in any way except in principal but I AM getting hurt because I am doing the right thing, playing by the rules, living within the provisions of my lease and keeping my nose clean!!! I don't do drugs, I don't have alcohol-laden parties and oh yes - I don't have a dog. I have a fish that's near death but I don't know if that counts. I come home some days to the smell of drugs cooking or being smoked or whatever the fuck people do with them. I come home to find gigantic holes punched in the walls because some asshole tenant decided to take out his or her frustration and now the damage makes us all look bad - makes us ALL look like trash - just like this town labels us. And I hate being labeled as trash. I hate being labeled at all.
And then I have to explain to my son about the damage. I tell him he will NOT grow up to be like that. I pray that I am getting through to him at 9 1/2 years old.
As much as I struggle to keep my head above water, the constant thorn in my side is knowing that illegal immigrants are getting my child care vouchers because they have fake/fraudulent/dead people's social security numbers or just random made up socials to secure benefits they do not deserve. Who is worse: The illegals getting benefits they don't deserve or the people around me committing housing fraud BECAUSE THEY CAN?
Who do I complain to? Who would actually look into this for me? No one. If I go to the property manager and question her background check requirements or how the paperwork is filled out or the information that is presented by tenants or prospective tenants, I will probably be evicted or retaliated against in some way for even questioning what's supposed to be none of my business. Forgive me for being a summa cum laud college graduate, having a GPA at graduation of 3.8 and actually having brains in my head and not in my ass. But that's what would happen if I even made a squeak about how the requirements for securing housing in this place I live. This place is owned by slumlords who don't give a shit about any of us.
Ditto for child care vouchers. Do these people actually check the paperwork? Obviously not because I am STILL on the waiting list for child care and I would give a million dollars if I had it to see who's gotten the child care voucher I covet - like church wine - ahead of me. If anyone tries to tell me that ALL the people who have gotten those vouchers ahead of me are U.S. Citizens - I am going to throw up - and then some.
What if I went to some of these illegals' countries? Do you think I could get away with the shit they do here in the United States? I'd be shot on sight. Dead. Gone.
I can sit here and blog about illegals and about the unfairness of it all but nothing is ever going to change. I even emailed Mike Beaudette who is an undercover report for Fox25 News here in Massachusetts and even he ignored me. I guess there are just some stories that reporters won't touch because of politics. And here I thought Fox 25 News was pretty damn liberal and would jump on an investigation into fraud by illegal immigrants.
Oh wait. I know why he didn't contact me. It's not even a story anymore.
Illegal immgrants getting benefits that U.S. Citizens don't is an everyday occurrence like going to the grocery store for milk and eggs. Who wants to investigate that?
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