Terrorist School Reject

On Wednesday morning, the town in which I live became a national focal point (and a feeding ground for media outlets around the country) when Tarek Mehanna, a resident of Sudbury, Massachusetts, was arrested on charges of plotting to commit acts of terrorism which included killing U.S. soldiers and attacks on shopping malls here in the United States. www.cnn.com, www.metrowestdailynews.com, www.foxnews.com and a whole lotta other dot coms around the world.

And at his arraignment this morning, Mehanna, 27, displayed his defiance (not surprising) when he refused to stand for the judge when the charges were levied against him in the courtroom. Only at the urging of Mehanna's father did this moronic brainless (educated) twit stand, but not after throwing his chair loudly to the side.

Nothing like starting your morning with coffee and a terrorist arrest right in your rich suburban town.

But the prompt of this blog doesn't come from the news story itself but is borne from the fact that this whack was "rejected" from being accepted into "terror camps" and therefore was unable to access the weapons used in terrorist attacks.

Let me just put my tongue in my cheek right about now and ratchet up my twisted sense of humor. While I am completely aware that terrorism is a very real issue, I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of Mehanna's inability to get into "terror camp."

I have some questions about "terror camp." Is there an application? How much does it cost? I fork out about 1200 dollars each year for my son to go to summer camp where he swims, goes on field trips and basically has a good time sans automatic weapons and bombs and training to fly planes that will ultimately crash into U.S. buildings and kill thousands of people. I think my summer camp expense is well-spent.

What exactly does one do at "terror camp?" Well, let's see. I'm sure the "counselors" teach them how to (a) build bombs and weapons of mass destruction unless they already have them on hand; (b) hold "art classes" in which terror-camp student learn how to identify "infidels" (kind of like knowing the difference between a Van Gogh painting and a box of Twinkies?); (c) practice athletic exercises which probably include strapping on a few hundred pounds of dynamite around their waists and running distances which could be the simulation of running into crowded malls and marketplaces and blowing themselves up and taking many of the patrons of the malls and marketplaces with them. Gives new meaning to the word "blowing yourself to smithereens" although I don't think "smithereens" is in the dictionary of terrorist terms.

Let's see. Oh sure. Students at terror camps probably learn how to perfect their driving & flying skills by practicing flying planes and driving trucks or tanks or cars that will ultimately crash into largely populated areas and buildings in the United States and do that smithereens thing.

Then of course there is probably moments of prayer where these people pray to their respective "gods" (whoever that may be) to bless them and keep them safe until of course they strap on those bombs and kill themselves along with all those other people. Oh yah, and they probably pray that the feds don't find out about their planned activities because it wouldn't be much fun to be in terror camp only to have it raided by those pesty feds you know what I mean?

So here's Mehanna filling out an application and probably answering questions like: How much do you despise the United States? What is your definition of infidel? Do you wake up in the morning and hope that you will kill more than 100 people that same day? How good are you at wiring things together like bombs? Have you ever handled an automatic weapon? Where did you attend college? Are you a member of any leadership groups? Do you play any sports? Questions like that I'm sure.

And of course there may be a one-on-one interview with the director(s) of the terror camp which of course could either seal the fate of a wannabe terrorist into a gonnabe terrorist or, in Mehanna's case - a terrorist camp reject.

Question by terror camp director: "How do you feel about our program?"
Soon-to-be-reject Mehanna: "Well, you have excellent training facilities, and lots of equipment and cool stuff to make bombs with and frankly, I think my attending terrorist camp would enhance my skills to be able to commit many acts of terrorism against the U.S. government and its infidels. Oh, and I play nice with other terrorists, too."

And so on.

I'm sorry but I think this is actually humorous in my own twisted sordid way of viewing this situation. How the freak does one get rejected from terror camp? What exactly excludes someone from terror camp? Are they not sick and twisted enough? Are they not educated enough about the infidels of the country that they want to blow up? Maybe there's a medical problem like, well, glass eye, lazy eye, extra trigger finger which of course could hinder the proper use of an automatic weapon (for aiming purposes), uh, let's see, bum leg (which could hinder escape situations if escape was part of the plan but usually terror camp graduates don't escape after they commit their acts of terrorism).

I wonder if terror camp has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy?

So Mehanna was rejected (loser) and has been arrested (loser reject now criminal) and his application for terror school has been filed into the back of the filing cabinet which probably holds more rejected applications.

I told my son that terrorists come in all colors, shapes, sizes, etc. so that he understands that terrorism presents itself in all races. And that terrorists are young, are old, pray to different gods BUT have one thread in common: a deep rooted hatred for the United States. My son asks me why and I don't have an answer. But he did ask me why everyone can't just get along. I didn't have an answer for that one either.

I wanted to be a baseball player when I grew up. I had friends who wanted to be firemen, police officers, astronauts, etc. Some turned out fine, some turned out to be drug addicts and career criminals and have a permanent place in our prison system. But never in my early young life did I ever have a friend who told me he or she wanted to grow up to be a terrorist.

Are these people born and bred to hate? Where does this hatred come from? And unfortunately, many of these terrorist blur the lines between religion and war and combine the two to form the basis and foundation for their sick and twisted acts of terrorism. I think their gods need to be taken down, too.

But like Mehanna, who hid in plain sight here in my town, terrorism has always existed. Terrorism and its perpetrators are like a deadly virus that keeps mutating - it keeps getting stronger and stronger, hides in places that are just-enough-veiled from view and resists attempts to destroy it.

But every now and then, viruses and plagues like terrorist reject Mehanna get destroyed like he did when he was arrested on Wednesday morning.

Well, thus ends this blog. Oh wait, look. I just saw an ad online for a great job for which I need to go and apply:

"Electric chair switch flipper, no training needed. Part time. Easy pay. Rid the world of terrorists." Call 1-800-USA-LOVE."

I can only hope that Mehanna gets a turn in that chair in the none too distant future.