One of my favorite bands is a group named Fallout Boy. There is a song called "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" and one line in that song hit home with me when I read about the latest teen who died tragically by taking her own life because she had been bullied:
"I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words ..."
That one line is so eerily and horribly descriptive of how cyberbullying - in its worst form - can change lives forever.
South Hadley teen Phoebe Prince was tired of being the bull eyes target of those weapons being hefted and used by her tormentors. Perhaps her soul was so shot through full of holes she could not stand to watch pieces of her fall off onto the floor anymore, her life blood ebb away each day so distraught and devastated she was by the cruelty she had sustained - mostly in the form of words.
Bullying is and will continue to be part of the evolution of mankind. It does not sector itself just to teens but to all walks of life. I am bullied because of where I live, I am taunted because I live in "low income housing" yet I graduated at the top of my class in high school, I hold a bachelor's degree in criminal justice from Northeastern University, graduating summa cum laud with a 3.89 GPA. But still, because of where I live, and have resided for the past seven years with my son, I am shunned, made fun of and shut out of the community in many ways. Isn't that form of bullying? It certainly is. And once again, my tormentors use cleverly disguised words and phrases, but in the end, the result is the same: unbearable pain and sorrow - all because of where I live. But I am a strong person and although there are times when I hit rock bottom and ask myself is it all worthwhile, I only have to look at my son to answer that question. But I wonder if he will become the victim of bullying as he grows older - just because of where he lives.
But what made Phoebe Prince take her own life? She was a beautiful girl, apparently well-liked, she came from Ireland and she probably possessed a beautiful Irish brogue. Why did her tormentors target her? Was it a pair of shoes that caused her tormentors to envy and attack her? A new purse? A new hairstyle? One wrong look at a teenage guy in the hallway?
We still don't know - or the general population doesn't know because no details were released. The only genuine facts are that Phoebe Prince is dead and her tormentors will not be returning to South Hadley High School.
Why can't we know their names? Why can't these horrible teens be exposed for the soul-less, shallow and devoid of emotional humans that they must be to have so cruelly vented their hatred, anger and meanness on Phoebe that she hung herself to escape their weapons?
These pond scum teens used words as their weapons: words written in text messages, words written on social networking sites like Facebook and My Space, and words used in person - directed at Phoebe Prince.
Words as weapons. This is NOT a new concept. There was a time when there was not an internet to pass these weapons from person to person, no cell phones on which to text message, no social networking sites on which to post sentences and paragraphs that were to be used as weapons of destruction. What teens had - and others - were lined pieces of paper with those same cruel words scribbled on them and passed from student to student, weapons in the form of words scribbled on bathroom walls, lockers and cars.
Bullying itself has evolved as humankind has evolved, as technology has evolved. Why haven't the schools protected its students who are the targets of now far more sophisticated weapons? Where does the protection start? I still believe it begins with the parents. I get that teens clam up and refuse to disclose the perps of the bullying for fear of it becoming worse. But frankly, I'd rather get involved and have an angry teen son than a dead teen son because I didn't interfere and find out what the hell was going on in his life that was causing my son such anguish.
Here in Massachusetts, anti-bullying legislature is awaiting Senate review.
And once again - this very legislature is nothing but a bunch of words and sentences strung together to create laws to prevent bullying. Punish the tormentors and bullies? Sure. Go ahead.
But it's not going to stop them because they know the true power of "weapons in the form of words" and these bullies - whether pre-teens, teens or adults - they will always have access to these weapons and that gives them unimaginable power that unfortunately, isn't something that being expelled from school or jail time is going to curb.
Words themselves are not heartless or cruel or without reason. They only become that way when they are used by humans which means that bullying - in all forms - is not going to end until humankind does.
"I am an arms dealer fitting you with weapons in the form of words ..."
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