Recently, I posted a blog about bullying, particularly in response to the suicide of Phoebe Prince, a South Hadley HS teen who hanged herself to escape the relentless torment of the "mean girls" who bullied her all because she was (a) new to the school; (b) a freshman who dated a senior; and a host of other reasons. My blog was centered on how "words" were used as "weapons" by the "mean girls" and how Phoebe was tired of walking around with holes in her soul, her life blood ebbing away - mostly likely caused by the caches of weapons these girls used on Phoebe day in and day out. Weapons in the form of words.
An article dated January 24, 2010 on boston.com entitled "The Untouchable Mean Girls" documented the details that led up to Phoebe's death, and how the "mean girls" actually believed they were not responsible for Phoebe's death. According to the article, one South Hadley teen who was interviewed was physically slammed into a locker by one of these "mean girls" because she "talked."
But perhaps the worst torment, the extra twist of the knife came AFTER Phoebe's death - these very same "mean girls" still continued to slam Phoebe Prince and mocked her, still referred to her as a "slut" on social networking sites - AFTER SHE WAS DEAD. Weapons in the form of words. A memorial page was created on Facebook in memory of Phoebe and these horrible excuses for human beings - these "mean girls" attacked Phoebe on this memorial page. Weapons in the form of words.
On Wednesday, I received an email from a mother who responded to my recent blog. She questioned my use of adjectives (words) of these "mean girls" -- and all bullies for that matter - I referred to these "mean girls" as devoid of emotion, soulless and pond scum. Aren't they? These girls were responsible for Phoebe Prince's suicide. The mother wrote to me " when you call these bullies horrible soulless shallow devoid of emotion pond scum" she asked me if I wasn't using my words as weapons. She asked me if my use of these adjectives was okay because the bullies are "guilty" and Phoebe Prince is "innocent." And she put guilty and innocent in quotes, leading me to believe that she was inferring that perhaps Phoebe Prince wasn't so innocent. I find that extremely difficult to believe because Phoebe Prince is dead and the "mean girls" were expelled from school and probably have moved on to another target.
Whatever her inference was, I stand by what I wrote about these "mean girls" and ALL mean girls who bully and torment others for reasons that are just unfathomable.
My weaponry of words in my last blog didn't cause Phoebe Prince's suicide and my weaponry of adjectives accurately describes these "mean girls" who drove a teenager to her death because they lacked a soul, they lacked depth and they lacked emotion. And of course pond scum is as low as you can go - didn't these mean girls go as low as they can do with their relentless torment of Phoebe Prince? Is is possible that IF those very same mean girls possessed the ordinary, good, decent traits of human beings that Phoebe Prince may still be alive?
And my "weaponry" of words certainly isn't going to be read by these means girls and even if they did read my post, they certainly are not going to care. Because to this day, these girls remain "defiant" and "unscathed." They do not care they drove a young girl to her death. And these very same mean girls are going to continue to purport their viciousness, meanness and soullessness upon anyone who crosses them.
And guess what? The parents of those mean girls? They could care less, too. I'm sure they're thinking "oh, MY daughter wouldn't do something like that." Well, your daughters DID do something like that and they have no remorse whatsoever as evident by their actions and weaponry of words used AFTER Phoebe's death.
And to the mother who responded to my use of adjectives that, in my opinion and the opinions of many others, accurately describes these "mean girls" -- just where do you think those girls learned how to use their cache of word weapons to drive a young girl to death?
Their parents.
Our children model our own behavior, speak our own words, mirror our actions, our anything. Whether our children turn what they learn from positive to negative is beyond our control.
But teaching our children that words ARE used as weapons if used improperly - it has to start with us. With the continuing advancement of technology that gives these bullies more and more opportunity to hone their vocabularly and the ability to use their "weapons in the form of words" and the very fact that they instill fear into those who cross them, it is up to the parents to take them down and take away their caches. It has to start with the parents.
And until the "mean girls" and all the bullies are held accountable for their actions by the very people who gave them life on this Earth, and by the school officials who dance circles around their own anti-bullying creeds which are mere words typed onto pieces of paper that lack barracuda teeth, kids like Phoebe Prince are going to continue to be tormented and bullied for no reason other than they take up space in the halls where the "mean girls" walk and consider their domain - and end up taking their own lives because in their devastated minds, death is far better than being destroyed by weapons in the form of words.
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