Facebook has become a window to my past the last few days as I am "finding" people with whom I attended elementary and junior high school. Some I simply remember by their names and then everything is just blank. Some I remember as people I didn't like very much because I was bullied just because of my former last name which I refuse to print here other than to write (a) it RHYMES with a Disney character and something about his nose and (b) little known fact - my former last name is also known as a certain kind of Italian celery (fennel) that tastes like black licorice which in itself is absolutely DISGUSTING! Notwithstanding the fact that having been bullied much of my life because of my name, I still cringe when it's spoken out loud because it just brings back bad memories and I literally RAN into the courtroom when I was old enough, waving my name change form in front of the judge's face. Best $80.00 I ever spent!
Anyways, back to memory lane. I've "friend requested" a bunch of people from eons ago who may or may not accept my request - many have already done so - because they don't know who I am. I won't accept anyone I do not know. Some I've actually asked who the heck he or she is because I could not imagine why he or she was friend requesting me.
Friend requesting is an interesting concept. You get a little "yahoo guy" that does a little dance inside of you when someone accepts your request and that little "yahoo guy" slumps his shoulders in dejection (and rejection?) when you see your friend list drop down one or two or three because someone or several "friends" have dropped you. And you have no idea who dropped you unless you are one meticulous list making son of a gun who actually KEEPS a list of friends and peruses it every day to see who has dropped you from their facebook page ! (that's kinda creepy if you ask me. Those people need to get a serious life).
But for me, right now, it's kinda cool finding people that I went to school with even if they have no idea who I am! I know who they are. And even if they don't accept me, it won't phase me in the least. People get too sensitive over Facebook dropping or whatever it's called. Who cares? How many of the people on your friends' list do you actually SEE? Most of my friends are people I graduated with and I have gone for YEARS without seeing most of them! Others are random people who are friends of friends that I will never meet and others are members of my extended family - my cousins. My sister and nephew are on my page but I never talk to them online!
One of the people I went to junior high school with accepted my friend request and I was stunned to see he's some kind of big rock star now! How cool is that! Funny how we don't think about that stuff when we are young or, alternatively, what we think we will be when we grow up isn't how our lives turn out. It's whether we allow our lives to fill with regrets that will keep us from making our dreams a reality or if we simply move on and find a way to fulfill at least one of the dreams of our youth. I did - I got to pitch for the Boston Red Sox in 1986 when I attended one of those fantasy camps. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat just to say I got to pitch - twice. And of course, writing books has always been my biggest dream. if JK Rowling can do what she did, then why can't I?
My favorite quote is "It's never too late to be what you might have been."
It really isn't if you just believe in yourself.
Now, if only my teenage naval officer George Chapman who was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia on the U.S.S. Enterprise and who I genuinely liked - alot - would turn up!
You never know.
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Monday, January 3, 2011
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Bullying - Is this ever going to end?
Recently, I posted a blog about bullying, particularly in response to the suicide of Phoebe Prince, a South Hadley HS teen who hanged herself to escape the relentless torment of the "mean girls" who bullied her all because she was (a) new to the school; (b) a freshman who dated a senior; and a host of other reasons. My blog was centered on how "words" were used as "weapons" by the "mean girls" and how Phoebe was tired of walking around with holes in her soul, her life blood ebbing away - mostly likely caused by the caches of weapons these girls used on Phoebe day in and day out. Weapons in the form of words.
An article dated January 24, 2010 on boston.com entitled "The Untouchable Mean Girls" documented the details that led up to Phoebe's death, and how the "mean girls" actually believed they were not responsible for Phoebe's death. According to the article, one South Hadley teen who was interviewed was physically slammed into a locker by one of these "mean girls" because she "talked."
But perhaps the worst torment, the extra twist of the knife came AFTER Phoebe's death - these very same "mean girls" still continued to slam Phoebe Prince and mocked her, still referred to her as a "slut" on social networking sites - AFTER SHE WAS DEAD. Weapons in the form of words. A memorial page was created on Facebook in memory of Phoebe and these horrible excuses for human beings - these "mean girls" attacked Phoebe on this memorial page. Weapons in the form of words.
On Wednesday, I received an email from a mother who responded to my recent blog. She questioned my use of adjectives (words) of these "mean girls" -- and all bullies for that matter - I referred to these "mean girls" as devoid of emotion, soulless and pond scum. Aren't they? These girls were responsible for Phoebe Prince's suicide. The mother wrote to me " when you call these bullies horrible soulless shallow devoid of emotion pond scum" she asked me if I wasn't using my words as weapons. She asked me if my use of these adjectives was okay because the bullies are "guilty" and Phoebe Prince is "innocent." And she put guilty and innocent in quotes, leading me to believe that she was inferring that perhaps Phoebe Prince wasn't so innocent. I find that extremely difficult to believe because Phoebe Prince is dead and the "mean girls" were expelled from school and probably have moved on to another target.
Whatever her inference was, I stand by what I wrote about these "mean girls" and ALL mean girls who bully and torment others for reasons that are just unfathomable.
My weaponry of words in my last blog didn't cause Phoebe Prince's suicide and my weaponry of adjectives accurately describes these "mean girls" who drove a teenager to her death because they lacked a soul, they lacked depth and they lacked emotion. And of course pond scum is as low as you can go - didn't these mean girls go as low as they can do with their relentless torment of Phoebe Prince? Is is possible that IF those very same mean girls possessed the ordinary, good, decent traits of human beings that Phoebe Prince may still be alive?
And my "weaponry" of words certainly isn't going to be read by these means girls and even if they did read my post, they certainly are not going to care. Because to this day, these girls remain "defiant" and "unscathed." They do not care they drove a young girl to her death. And these very same mean girls are going to continue to purport their viciousness, meanness and soullessness upon anyone who crosses them.
And guess what? The parents of those mean girls? They could care less, too. I'm sure they're thinking "oh, MY daughter wouldn't do something like that." Well, your daughters DID do something like that and they have no remorse whatsoever as evident by their actions and weaponry of words used AFTER Phoebe's death.
And to the mother who responded to my use of adjectives that, in my opinion and the opinions of many others, accurately describes these "mean girls" -- just where do you think those girls learned how to use their cache of word weapons to drive a young girl to death?
Their parents.
Our children model our own behavior, speak our own words, mirror our actions, our anything. Whether our children turn what they learn from positive to negative is beyond our control.
But teaching our children that words ARE used as weapons if used improperly - it has to start with us. With the continuing advancement of technology that gives these bullies more and more opportunity to hone their vocabularly and the ability to use their "weapons in the form of words" and the very fact that they instill fear into those who cross them, it is up to the parents to take them down and take away their caches. It has to start with the parents.
And until the "mean girls" and all the bullies are held accountable for their actions by the very people who gave them life on this Earth, and by the school officials who dance circles around their own anti-bullying creeds which are mere words typed onto pieces of paper that lack barracuda teeth, kids like Phoebe Prince are going to continue to be tormented and bullied for no reason other than they take up space in the halls where the "mean girls" walk and consider their domain - and end up taking their own lives because in their devastated minds, death is far better than being destroyed by weapons in the form of words.
An article dated January 24, 2010 on boston.com entitled "The Untouchable Mean Girls" documented the details that led up to Phoebe's death, and how the "mean girls" actually believed they were not responsible for Phoebe's death. According to the article, one South Hadley teen who was interviewed was physically slammed into a locker by one of these "mean girls" because she "talked."
But perhaps the worst torment, the extra twist of the knife came AFTER Phoebe's death - these very same "mean girls" still continued to slam Phoebe Prince and mocked her, still referred to her as a "slut" on social networking sites - AFTER SHE WAS DEAD. Weapons in the form of words. A memorial page was created on Facebook in memory of Phoebe and these horrible excuses for human beings - these "mean girls" attacked Phoebe on this memorial page. Weapons in the form of words.
On Wednesday, I received an email from a mother who responded to my recent blog. She questioned my use of adjectives (words) of these "mean girls" -- and all bullies for that matter - I referred to these "mean girls" as devoid of emotion, soulless and pond scum. Aren't they? These girls were responsible for Phoebe Prince's suicide. The mother wrote to me " when you call these bullies horrible soulless shallow devoid of emotion pond scum" she asked me if I wasn't using my words as weapons. She asked me if my use of these adjectives was okay because the bullies are "guilty" and Phoebe Prince is "innocent." And she put guilty and innocent in quotes, leading me to believe that she was inferring that perhaps Phoebe Prince wasn't so innocent. I find that extremely difficult to believe because Phoebe Prince is dead and the "mean girls" were expelled from school and probably have moved on to another target.
Whatever her inference was, I stand by what I wrote about these "mean girls" and ALL mean girls who bully and torment others for reasons that are just unfathomable.
My weaponry of words in my last blog didn't cause Phoebe Prince's suicide and my weaponry of adjectives accurately describes these "mean girls" who drove a teenager to her death because they lacked a soul, they lacked depth and they lacked emotion. And of course pond scum is as low as you can go - didn't these mean girls go as low as they can do with their relentless torment of Phoebe Prince? Is is possible that IF those very same mean girls possessed the ordinary, good, decent traits of human beings that Phoebe Prince may still be alive?
And my "weaponry" of words certainly isn't going to be read by these means girls and even if they did read my post, they certainly are not going to care. Because to this day, these girls remain "defiant" and "unscathed." They do not care they drove a young girl to her death. And these very same mean girls are going to continue to purport their viciousness, meanness and soullessness upon anyone who crosses them.
And guess what? The parents of those mean girls? They could care less, too. I'm sure they're thinking "oh, MY daughter wouldn't do something like that." Well, your daughters DID do something like that and they have no remorse whatsoever as evident by their actions and weaponry of words used AFTER Phoebe's death.
And to the mother who responded to my use of adjectives that, in my opinion and the opinions of many others, accurately describes these "mean girls" -- just where do you think those girls learned how to use their cache of word weapons to drive a young girl to death?
Their parents.
Our children model our own behavior, speak our own words, mirror our actions, our anything. Whether our children turn what they learn from positive to negative is beyond our control.
But teaching our children that words ARE used as weapons if used improperly - it has to start with us. With the continuing advancement of technology that gives these bullies more and more opportunity to hone their vocabularly and the ability to use their "weapons in the form of words" and the very fact that they instill fear into those who cross them, it is up to the parents to take them down and take away their caches. It has to start with the parents.
And until the "mean girls" and all the bullies are held accountable for their actions by the very people who gave them life on this Earth, and by the school officials who dance circles around their own anti-bullying creeds which are mere words typed onto pieces of paper that lack barracuda teeth, kids like Phoebe Prince are going to continue to be tormented and bullied for no reason other than they take up space in the halls where the "mean girls" walk and consider their domain - and end up taking their own lives because in their devastated minds, death is far better than being destroyed by weapons in the form of words.
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