I just read the most hilarious storythat has prompted me to knock out a quick blog. A man in New hampshire went to a local gas station in his town, purchased a pack of cigarettes and was charged - are you ready for this? - 23 quadrillion dollars by Bank of America AND worse, a $15 overdraft fee LMAO ROFL!!!!!! Wow. That was one expensive pack of smokes. And for those of you who are zero challenged, that 23 followed by 15 zeros. Now can you just imagine getting your bank statement and seeing THAT figure on there? Would it even FIT on the bank statement?
John Muszynski checked his bank balance online (which I also do pretty much every day) and when he saw that debit to his account he was quoted as saying "I thought someone had bought Europe with my debit card." At least his sense of humor was intact even if his bank account wasn't!
Mr. Muszynski apparently tried to get the cashier at the gas station to help him without success. Can you just imagine the conversation:
John: "Hi. I was here a little while ago and bought a pack of cigarettes and you charged me twenty three, uh, quadrillion dollars."
Cashier: "Like what? What's a quadrillion? Is that like the national debt or something?"
I can see the eye rolling that went on all the way here in Massachusetts.
You get the picture. Clearly, the cashier was not at fault.
Mr. Muszynski then spent another unsucessful two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to get it to restore his account. And (why am I not surprised by this) Bank of America could not fix the problem until the next day. I think, for all intensive purposes, that he should print out his bank statement, black sharpie marker out all his personal information (or cut it out) and sell that bank statement on ebay. There's gotta be a market for a collectible mistake like that!!!!
I'm trying to picture this guy calling Bank of America to report the problem.
First thing he hears: "Please enter your 16 digit debit card number followed by the pound sign."
"Um, hello - can I just get a human being on the phone PLEASE?"
"Press 1 for checking, press 2 for savings, press 3 ..."
He presses zero (15 times just for laughs?????)
"That is an invalid entry. Press 1 for checking, press 2 for savings ..." I am sure he spent a better part of that 2 hours just pressing buttons to get someone on the phone.
"Hi. This is Jane Doe. How may I help you?"
"Yah, uh, there is a 23 - wait a sec - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15 - yah, there's a charge on my account - a 23 followed by 15 zeros - my buddy tells me it's 23 quadrillion dollars that I was charged for a pack of smokes. I think that's a mistake."
Silence.
"Hello? I think it's a mistake."
"Hold on, sir. Let me get my supervisor."
The endless finger drumming and eye rolling as minutes tick by.
"Hello this is John Smith. May I have your name, please?"
"I already gave my name, my debit card number, everything you need. I have a twenty three quadrillion dollar charge on my account that I really need you people to take care NOW."
"Sir, I need you to verify your identity before I can answer any questions."
"What part of twenty three quadrillion dollars didn't you people understand? Get it OFF of my acount now! I know cigarettes are expensive but this is ridiculous. Oh, and you had the audacity to charge me an ADDITIONAL fifteen dollar overdraft fee?"
"Sir, I really need to verify your identity in order to continue this conversation."
"Obviously you know who I am or you wouldn't have charged me twenty three quadrillion dollars for a pack of cigarettes! How many other customers have called you today with a twenty three quadrillion dollar issue?"
And on and on I imagine it went.
In the end, Bank of America (day late and lessee, smokes are about $7.00 a pack - what's 23 quadrillion minus $7.00?) did fix the error (BTW, Bank of America called it an "accident" which is kinda funny because isn't that what puppies have when they are being potty trained? Kind of a shitty thing, eh?)
But what's even worse is that apparently, this 23 quadrillion dollar mistake occurred to other Visa debit card holders! Yet another victim of bank error, one father reported that his teenage daughter spent "$23, 148,855,308,184,500 at CVS!!!!!!" Can you just imagine the father's reaction when he saw THAT????? And of course, that heart-attack inducing shock was followed by the prerequisite "You are grounded for all eternity. Now go to your room. No cell phone, no computer, no Blackberry, no strawberry, blueberry or apple pie. Err, whatever. Your mother will call you when it's time for dinner."
Visa issued a statement to CNN that blamed the mess on a "temporary programming error at Visa Debit Processing Services ... [which] caused some transactions to be inaccurately posted. Visa reports that all of the 23 Quadrillion dollar charges have been fixed and any overdraft fees refunded. Well, thank you very much.
Bottom line: Either don't smoke or cut a hole in your mattress and use it as your bank. Can't go wrong with a cash stash.
What's after quadrillion anyways?
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