Are You There God, It's Us - Paula and Jake

Open letter to God:

Dear God: You know, I am wondering if you just put on your Ipod some days to take a break from the prayers everyone tosses up to you. While I believe that justice prevailed in my eviction case and that pyschopath's lies were ultimately FINALLY seen to be just that - lies - (even though I did pray that Jake and I wouldn't get evicted); AND I asked you for help in getting us out of this horrendous place in which we reside (I got a call Friday that may allow my son and I to FINALLY move), you still haven't answered my biggest prayer.

I can't get to Point B without Point A. And since I don't have Point A, I'm going nowhere.

Why did my own mother forsake me? Am I that rotten a daughter? No. Have I made mistakes? Yes. But nothing that brought shame or humiliation upon her or my family. You know I've never been arrested, I don't drink so obviously I don't drive drunk with my child in the car, I don't do drugs (except for the Coumadin for my blood clots and the Lorazepam so I can sleep-sometimes), I work every day, I don't beat my child or expose him to violence, I choose my friends carefully, I've been with the same man for going on six years, I pay my bills on time even though I am burdened with debt and my Jurassic Park Honda Civic is falling apart at the seams (as cars begin to do when they hit 100,000 or more) and you KNOW I don't have the money to keep fixing it and I can't help but feel a bit of fear every time I drive it wondering if something goes wrong is it going to harm my son in any way.

Why won't my own mother who has more than a half a million dollars in the bank help me? What is she so afraid of?

And it's clear that she ISN'T going to help so what do I need to do to get a little help in a big way? Am I doomed to stay in this cereal box in which we live? Yes, I understand there are far, far worse off people in this world. I can't fix that. I'm a realist. I have to think about my son. Maybe someday I CAN make a difference. But RIGHT NOW, I need to make a difference for my son and myself.

And I just can't seem to catch one little break.

Maybe you aren't listening anymore. Maybe all you hear is blah blah blah.

Have you given up on us?